Freya Lorelei (freyalorelei) wrote,
Freya Lorelei

In which Freya has Problems, and Needs Help.

So it's been about two months since the wedding and subsequent move, and not much has happened aside from near-crippling social anxiety and agoraphobia. I still don't have a job because we only have one car, and have become increasingly isolated to the point where talking to anyone but the RTH induces mildly to severely disabling panic. This is obviously a problem.

Moreover, my activity on That Other Social Network has increased, giving the illusion of social interaction without actually talking to people in meatspace, so I've fallen into a comfortable little self-rewarding pattern of social avoidance. This isn't depression (probably) as much as voluntary hermitude. Loneliness is bad, but fear of rejection and judgement is worse.

The RTH had me make an appointment with the Family Health Services (basically the Army health/adjustment/psych department) to work through my numerous Issues and maybe get some drugs and therapy so I can apply for work without hyperventilating out of fear of talking to non-RTH human beings.

Never before has my Avoidant Personality Disorder come so sharply into play in my life. :(
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