Current mood:

tired

Half Blood Prince Review
Went to the Half Blood Prince premiere last night/this morning.

Initial thoughts: Holy shit these movies are getting long. I mean, I know it's because the books themselves are friggin’ doorstops and they need to convey as much of the book as possible on the screen, but we didn't get out of there until three in the morning.

Also: I've read the book maybe twice and not at all recently, so I’ll probably skip or misremember any changes.

Oh, and a third remark before I get to the movie itself: They played the trailer for the new Sherlock Holmes movie. As an interpretation of the books it looks absolutely deplorable and Conan Doyle is almost assuredly rolling in his grave. Taken individually as a movie, though? It looks pretty freakin' sweet, provided you pretend it's a random adventure movie set in Victorian times, populated with characters that share names with the ones in the canon purely by chance. It's the only way I can keep from foaming at the mouth.

Okay, the movie itself: I liked it. I think. It was so goddamn long that it was hard to digest (not to mention I went to Night at the Museum 2 with Shade right beforehand [verdict: I liked it, and may post a subsequent review], so bits of that were fresh in my head as well), but I liked it.

The Good: LUNA LUNA OMG LUNA. I love how unrelentingly odd she is. The silver spacesuit dress was fantastic. And that lion outfit was just too adorable. (Oh, lordy. I am OVER THE MOON over confirmation that Bill Nighy was cast for Deathly Hallows. This has nothing to do with Luna, by the way; I'm just plum jazzed, is all.)

The Bad: Fucking teenage romantic drama shit. I know it's a huge part of the book, but I hated it there and I hated it in the movie. Thank God they excised the whole Lupin/Tonks mess with the judicious application of the word "sweetheart." Boom, there, established relationship. None of this "I love you! But we can't be together for nebulous reasons! At least not for another forty-five minutes!" crap. (Although…if they're already a couple, why is her hair still dark? That was kind of a major plot point, guys.) It was bad enough watching teenagers and their hormones; adults should be past that shit.

The Annoying: Snapesquee. It seemed that every time Alan Rickman was onscreen, the audience (which I don't know where you were, but in my theater was 99% teenagers, probably a good ¾ of that female) got all giggly and swoony and all but threw their underwear at the screen. Yes, we get it. Alan Rickman is hot. Now shut the fuck up so I can actually hear the dialogue. (And not just any dialogue; Alan Rickman dialogue.)

Speaking of, how about the big reveal at the end, eh? "I am the half blood prince!" Aaaaand...cut to next scene. Uh, HOW? I understand they're relying on the audience to know the books, but that's kind of the TITLE OF THE MOVIE. No backstory, no explanation, no screaming and furious exchange of spells ("DON'T CALL ME COWARD", anyone?)? While I liked his nonchalant defense of Harry's spells, swatting away major curses like they're a particularly irritating fly, the confrontation between Harry and Snape--a fairly significant event in the book--is almost entirely glossed over. You had time to show artsy footage of Draco using the magical closet, but couldn't spare a minute or two on Snape's (not inconsiderable) back story, the back story that's kind of vital to the next movie?

The Oh My God How Incompetent Can You Get: During the Felix Felicitatum (or whatever it's called, I can't be arsed to look it up now) potion-brewing scene, the screen went dark for I'd say a good three minutes--e.g., basically the entire scene from start to finish--and didn't light back up until Slughorn was congratulating Harry. And that three minutes was filled with angry!fen yelling, cursing, and generally expressing their disappointment in no uncertain terms.

The What The Hell?: Burrow bonfire. Even my shaky memory is pretty sure that didn't happen in the books, and also it seemed to serve no purpose outside of Hey Look At Us Blow Shit Up. Which, uh, that's great and all, but there's no need to leave the entire Weasley family homeless for the sake of shock value. (I guess they could move in with Fred and George for a while...they certainly seem to be well-off enough.)

The EW GET IT OFF: Aragog's funeral. While they didn't do a close-up of his eyes, seeing a giant spider (even a dead one) onscreen did nothing to help my phobia. I cowered whimpering in my seat until the teenage girls next to me said it was safe to look up again.

I swear to God, I don't know if it's the trio or Gryffindors in general, but stalking a pack of Death Eaters on their home turf? Dumb, dumb, dumb. When Harry trailed Draco to Borgin and Burkes, I thought how much it would serve him right to fall through the skylight directly at their feet. They don't just take risks; they take stupid risks against all logic and personal safety.

Is it me, or did Dumbledore's knitting magazine have a picture of J.K. Rowling on the cover? And am I the only one who desperately wants said magazine to be Emerson Cod's beloved Knit Wit? WORLDS! COLLIDING!

Overall: Meh. I think I'll need to see it a second time just to absorb it all (and is it me or do all the HP movies require a second or even third viewing just to properly comprehend them? Clever, Warner Brothers, very clever. No wonder they clean up so nicely at the box office), but I'll give it a tentative thumbs-up.