Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in Freya Lorelei's LiveJournal:

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Saturday, November 14th, 2009
2:53 am	In which Freya is not dead. So in the last *counts* three weeks, Simone spontaneously developed a virus and then just as spontaneously got better. I don't even know, y'all. In the meantime I have been finishing books. Oh my God the books I have finished. I am so proud of myself, you have no idea, because it is so incredibly difficult to focus long enough on any book long enough to finish it, that I've ended up with a mountain of 30+ books I'm "currently reading." Let's count the ones I've laid to rest. Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell. HOLY SHIT, YOU HAVE NO IDEA. I've been reading that book on and off for five years. It's an awesome book and I highly recommend it, but it took FOREVER to finish. Dead Beat. Shade's been after me to finish the Dresden Files series for a while. Eight down, four to go. Heat Stroke and Chill Factor. Lord Peter, Gaudy Night, Busman's Honeymoon, and am currently reading The Unpleasantness at the Bellona Club, because the Lord Peter Wimsey books are delicious, delicious crack and I have been inhaling them at an alarming rate. I kind of want to make a post solely devoted to them, because a) they are awesome personified and b) I am madly in love with Peter Wimsey and do not blame Dorothy L. Sayers one bit for marrying him to her Mary Sue (a thoroughly awesome Mary Sue, by the way, and a rare case of one done well). My only issue with them is that occasionally she goes off into paragraphs of untranslated French (the solution to one mystery hinges entirely on the misuse of a French pronoun among a sea of such dialogue), but I can kind of pick out words here and there and get the gist of it. Okay, now I am bored and can't remember what else I finished, so the hell with that. Except that, oooh! I also bought Mansfield Park and am halfway through. THE ONLY JANE AUSTEN NOVEL I HAVE NOT FINISHED, UNLESS YOU COUNT SHIT LIKE LADY SUSAN OR SANDITON, W00T. I would probably be farther along if Fanny weren't such a spineless moron. Seriously, she bursts into tears if someone asks her opinion. Edmund's slightly more likable, but irritatingly oblivious. Mary Crawford has him SO SNOWED. And Henry's such a smug bastard that I want to find a time machine just to convince Austen to write a scene where he gets punched in the face. In other news, our landlord keeps fucking with us. Apparently the city inspectors will be coming by! Except not really! Oh wait, they'll be here two days from now! No, next week! Crap, it's tomorrow! Nope, false alarm! We've moved the cats three times in a week, and now they're telling us the city won't re-inspect until DECEMBER. ARGH. On the plus side, the apartment's now thoroughly clean. Also, Shade has been inflicting his childhood on me, by which I mean old X-Men cartoons from 1992. I'm surprised by how much I'm liking it; I've never been terribly fond of cartoons, but these are growing on me. Weirdly enough, my favourite character so far seems to be the Beast (he had me at "a minor poet for a minor obstacle"). I'd like Rogue more if she didn't continually fuck up everything for the team. "I want to be normal! I must undergo a risky and suspiciously vague procedure to rid myself of my powers! Oh crap, the procedure turns people evil! But the person carrying it out is my shape-changing foster-mom! OH NOES WHAT TO DO." Uh, how about a) get some of those collars that temporarily surpress mutant powers (you know, the ones everyone was so worried about TWO EPISODES AGO) and b) hand the bitch over before she destroys the world? Oh, and I'm assistant costumer for a community theater production of The Christmas Carol. I hate Dickens, but I like everyone involved. Except for the guy who said I look like Moaning Myrtle. Yeah, thanks for that. Current Mood: awake (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, October 20th, 2009
12:26 am	Cheap books are love. In the last few days I cashed a check and have bought a whole SLEW of used books, most for a dollar or less: The Grey King by Susan Cooper (I've actually read this before, but it was a quarter, so I figured what the hell) Gaudy Night by Dorothy L. Sayers (the Peter Wimsey novels are a new addiction) Audrey Hepburn: A Biography by Warren G. Harris (because how could I NOT) Deerskin by Robin McKinley (I love her books! And it has a sighthound on the cover!) Current Mood: sleep now. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, October 17th, 2009
1:39 am	In which Freya barely finds time to breathe, let alone interweb. I haven't been online in, like, forever. Sorry about that. On the other hand, I also haven't been home more than one night for the last week. See, last Thursday Grampa was feeling kinda dizzy and had reverted back to his walker (which he avoids unless his balance is REALLY bad), and Gramma was concerned because he was dragging one foot. Finally he calls Mom that evening, saying, gee whiz, he thinks he's having a heart attack. I was visiting her, so we were both over there on the double. When asked why he jumped to "heart attack," he immediately clammed up and didn't want to discuss it. Nor did he want to go to the hospital. It was finally decided that I would stay there just in case anything happened. Well, thank God I did, because four in the morning I wake up to hear Gramma calling for me. Grampa had fallen getting up in the middle of the night and couldn't stand back up. I called 911, then Mom, both were there promptly, and Grampa was rushed to the hospital while I stayed to help Gramma (who, as you'll remember, has limited mobility). Remember that fall Grampa had two months ago? As a result of hitting his head, his brain had sprung a leak and blood had been slowly pooling in his head the entire time, gradually impairing his motor skills and memory functions. At the hospital they drained more than a cup of blood that was sitting on his brain, and he had tubes in his head for several days. After they removed the blood he felt immediately better ("fantastic" was how he described it), declaring he couldn't remember when he felt so good. The doctors said they caught his condition right in the nick of time. In fact, he was a bit of a celebrity in the IC unit...apparently the surgery they did was kind of unique, so they had visiting doctors and staff from all over the hospital coming to look at his head. Thus begins a week of staying at my grandparents' house, watching the Game Show Network and Dancing with the Stars. The latter was actually more entertaining than I expected (Melissa Joan Hart can do a mean Charleston!), although I'm not fussed over seeing it again. How busy have I been? I wrote this update two days ago and only now have gotten around to posting it. Grampa's come home since then and although he's not allowed to bend over (due to, y'know, the holes in his head), he can get around pretty well and is predicted to be able to return to work in two weeks. Meanwhile, a) we've had more inspections, which means once again performing the feline shuffle, and b) one of Shade's co-workers went out of town for a week and asked him to look after her two Shelties and two Chihuahuas.* This requires him to stay at her house while she's gone, because obviously, unlike Miley, we can't keep the dogs here. I don't think we've spent more than a few hours in each others' company in the last week (at least not while conscious). On the other hand, Kathy-the-coworker gave us full use of a spare room for stashing the cats, so no worries there. Tonight I went out to Sally's play (she FINALLY got the lead in a play--no more maids or whores!), and proceeded to have yet another anxiety-related meltdown at the cast party afterward, even though according to Sally I was actually doing pretty well. I also had a panic attack (for the first time in a week, though--an improvement!) at my grandparents' the other day. I'm pretty sure it's just PMS, but it's annoying all the same. *Two GORGEOUS Shelties (one a finished champion in immaculate condition) and two ADORABLE Chihuahuas, may I add. The Chis are so much sturdier than Cricket that you wouldn't believe they're pretty much the same breed (give or take a quarter Dachshund). Dori in particular is a little chunk. Current Mood: tired (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, September 30th, 2009
12:43 am	I CANNOT STOP WRITING IN ALL-CAPS. OH MY GOD GUYS GUYS GUYS BEST NEWS EVER. PRIMEVAL IS UN-CANCELLED. :D :D :D THIRTEEN EPISODE RENEWAL STARTING IN 2011. ALL THE CHARACTERS (WELL THE SURVIVING CHARACTERS) WILL RETURN. THERE WILL BE A FOURTH SERIES PWAISE HESTIA. *READS MORE* OH MY GOD A FIFTH SERIES TOO. MY MOTHER WILL SHIT KITTENS. :D :D :D Current Mood: AAAAAAHHH. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 28th, 2009
2:27 am	In which Freya is slightly more confident about her writing. After several weeks of what I thought were perfectly reasonable amounts of sleep, and with the full intention of Doing Stuff today, I went to bed roughly elevenish last night and woke up at six o'clock in the evening. Fifteen hours. Shade is of the opinion that I incurred a massive sleep debt, although I can't see how. Have been immensely comforted by reading notes by L. M. Montgomery on her writing process, and specifically how very difficult it was for her to start books. I finally, finally have a solid plot for my Evalloch and Valerian stories, instead of a bunch of random vignettes and witty banter, and even a workable title (actually, a series of titles with similar themes, though I won't say what they are for fear of jinxing it). I'm finally of the mindset that this could actually work. It's becoming an entirely bizarre mismash of Stuff What I Think Is Shiny, and I'm still not 100% sure how advanced the technology will be (they have access to tea, ink and steel, but not gunpowder or electricity), plus I think it's starting to be set in Christie Time* (except...with elves and dragons. What?), but at least I'm figuring out stuff for the characters to do. *Curse you, TV Tropes! Curse you! (Comment on this)
Tuesday, September 22nd, 2009
3:26 am	In which a lightbulb appears over Freya's head. Wrote a bit more of my Evalloch and Valerian story. I'm having a LOT of fun with the race (yes, Alistair has friends now) of giant talking spiders who take tea and wear monocles and play harps strung with their own silk. I've never seen anthropomorphic spiders used as protagonists before. Alistair is a perfectly lovely, cultured gentleman who just happens to resemble a gigantic wolf spider, and is constantly apologetic for the reaction he invariably provokes ("My goodness, if I met me in a dark alley--or even a well-lit one--I shouldn't sleep for a week. I'm simply terrifying."). I think that's why I've had nightmares about spiders for so many years. Spiders = creativity. They represent my fear of fiction writing. It took incorporating spiders into my writing to control the nightmares. I still have other characters (and I FINALLY nailed down the character of Evalloch, it only took me six freaking years to figure out what I was trying to get out of him), but I'm excessively fond of Alistair (and the Lady Amelia, a sweet if somewhat agoraphobic trap-door spider renowned for her quiche a la escargot--aka, snail pie). One thing that kind of concerns me is, when compiling the random vingettes into an actual book, whether or not to include the porn*. I've written a few scenes between my characters that are, and I'm going to be honest here, pretty much unabashed smut. The thing is, they're entertaining smut, and I'm of the opinion that it's some of my best writing (not that I have a second opinion what with, you know, the searing shame and all, but still). Plus the book wouldn't be the same without the relationship between the two characters. On the other hand, I'm pretty sure I couldn't show the scenes to my family without wanting to spontaneously combust from shame, and because they're so supportive and encouraging of COURSE they would want to read anything I wrote! And hell, I get squeamish over showing them obliquely romantic poetry (or, you know, ANYTHING), let alone honest-to-god porn. Plus I don't want it to feel gratuitous, and I'm afraid that with the huge influx of supernatural-porn-masquerading-as-fantasy-novels, it would feel gratuitous. (Although my stories are more traditional fantasy--nary a vampire or werewolf in sight.) And now I'm ridiculously tired and can offer no further discussion on the subject. *Don't worry, it's not spider-porn**; I don't think spider-porn would be very entertaining because aside from the EW GET IT OFF factor, it would all invariably end with "And then she ate his head." (Or am I thinking of praying mantis? I'm pretty sure that spiders enagage in sexy cannibaltiems, too.) **"Spider-porn! Spider-porn! Does whoever a spider does!" I REGRET NOTHING. Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Monday, September 21st, 2009
6:25 am	Every time I think I'm improving, I get dragged under again. Watched the Emmy awards tonight at my grandparents' (Grampa's recovering well, although Gramma had some sort of mild stomach bug), and GO KRISTIN CHENOWETH YAY. So glad Pushing Daisies was posthumously vindicated with an award. UP YOURS, ABC. Then after an evening of taking care of my grandparents and doing their dishes and generally racking up karma points, I blew it all by getting pulled over for not stopping at a blinking red light. (In my defense, I honestly wasn't aware that blinking red lights meant stop and not slow down. Failed the driving test five times, remember?) Fortunately I got off with yet another warning, but for five horrible minutes I was convinced that they were going to find all my previous traffic violations and put me in jail for a fourth offence since I was technically on probation. The cop had to tell me to stop crying. It was pretty bad. Needless to say, after that I felt like shit, so I thought to my self, Self, you need a distraction. So I put on Gone with the Wind. I'd intended to hold off until I was able to show it to Shade (who drove to Canada this evening to visit Nate), but...I really felt like shit, and when you feel this bad the only thing that works is watching other people have it worse than you. (That, or Audrey Hepburn movies, but I was in a schadenfreude kinda mood.) I figured watching people starve and be shot while an entire civilization collapses around their ears would do the trick. Also pretty dresses. And Leslie Howard. So yeah, feeling much better now, thanks. Current Mood: tired (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 20th, 2009
12:54 am	In which technology hates me, and the feeling may be mutual. So, a while ago Shade bought me an answering machine. And by "a while ago," Shade would like to add that he means one year, nine months, and twenty-two days. Yes, he actually counted, because it took that long for me to set up the damn thing because I am nothing if not a world-class procrastinator. And by "world-class procrastinator," I mean, "incurably lazy." As a result of my tardiness, words were exchanged, not for the first time, and I finally got off my arse and decided to finally plug it in. Things went swimmingly for the first two stages (e.g., exchange the phone and answering machine jacks), then a slight hitch became apparent: I didn't see a power source cable. I dutifully wrote down the outlet code (9VDC 300mA) and hied off to my local Radio Shack. Yeah. Did you know there are dozens of plugs that carry that code, all with different sizes and colours that pertain to different voltages or whatever? I had to go back to the apartment so I could show them the answering machine. They found a plug that seemed to fit, so I plunked down my $18.01 for it (kissing the $20 I'd saved for the weekend good-bye) and went home all eager to set up my answering machine. I fitted the adaptor into the socket, plugged it in, and pressed "ON." Nothing happened. Our Friend Google told me that the specific brand of answering machine I owned would ONLY work with the plug with which it was sold. After, I kid you not, one whole minute of rummaging, I found the original plug, hooked it up to the machine...and it worked perfectly. When I turned it on, the green letters in the display started flashing "L...O...L." I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP. EVEN THE MACHINE ITSELF WAS MOCKING MY INCOMPETENCE. On the plus side, Radio Shack accepted my return with a full refund! Oh! I forgot to add that a couple days ago, I got a flat tire! Fortunately it was $20 for a used tire replacement, but I had to drive Minivan Helsing to the tire store, going maybe 12 miles in a 35 mph zone and making a horrible KA-CHUNK KA-CHUNK noise all the way, leaving angry tailgaters in my wake. Why didn't I just have it towed? Because a) money for tow trucks doesn't grow on trees and b) by the time I noticed, hey, something's wrong with the car, I was already in the street, and the tire store was on my way to work, so I figured what the hell. Also, c) INCURABLY LAZY. It was less work for me to drive three minutes on a broken, possibly dangerous vehicle than to pull over and notice I was basically driving on a deflated basketball. (Seriously. When I say flat I mean FLAT.) Current Mood: i'm going to bed. (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, September 19th, 2009
1:40 am	So. What's kept me from the puter. A week and a half after falling on his head and breaking a rib, Grampa went into scheduled surgery (like, scheduled weeks ago) for a completely unrelated issue, and while he's recovering from that Mom and I have continued taking care of him and Gramma on alternate days. While this was going on I let the hamster cages go a bit longer than usual and, aside from feeding and watering them, didn't have much time for close examination. When I finally looked into the kids' cages today, I found out that Astrid had mites in hers. Fortunately (I googled this to be certain) they're wood mites: totally harmless and non-parasitic, just irritating. Her cage and accessories are currently soaking in Lysol (removes 99.9% of germs, so I'm assuming it kills mites, too), and she's set up in a large plastic carrying case with all the temporary comforts of home. I also gave her a bath just to be on the safe side. Did you know that Chinese hamsters, unlike every other species I have ever owned, have waterproof fur? I put her under the faucet and the water just rolled off her back. It was weird. I don't know if it's because they live in forested mountains and have more frequent exposure to rainfall or what it is. Also, my birthday present from Shade came in the mail today: The Known World Handbook: Being a compendium of information, traditions and crafts practiced in these Current Middle Ages in the Society for Creative Anachronism, Inc. It will of course be immensely useful for both of us, and maybe I can stop asking our seneschal the same embarrassing questions over and over again. :D Oh, and I got two more months' worth of Seroquel samples, so that I may stave off the crazies for a while longer. Yays. Current Mood: tired (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Sunday, September 13th, 2009
12:42 am	In which Freya rediscovers yet another object hanging around the house for years. So, several years ago Diane-the-coworker picked up some YA fantasy for me at a consignment store, because she knew that I was into that kinda stuff. I was appreciative, but due to one thing or another (e.g., my rampant procrastination and complete lack of attention span), I never got around to reading them. The series in question is Everworld, by K.A. Applegate. Yesterday I found another one of the series for fifty cents at a different shop, and figured, what the hell, might as well give it a shot. I started the first book yesterday, and just finished the third today at work (like I said, YA lit, so they're short, maybe 200 pages each). To my surprise, I really, really like them. There are Vikings and Aztecs and knights of the Round Table and insectlike aliens and reality shifts and the authors* make several references to Star Trek. Unfortunately the next two books in the series that I own are #7 and #12 (which is the end of the series; it was quite short-lived), and it is a linear series, so plenty of stuff goes on that I've missed. I'm debating whether I like the series enough to bother ordering more online, or if I'm content just picking up the occasional book here and there at Valueland and suchlike. I combed through three different bookstores today looking for further additions, with no success. I also sought more Sister Fidelma books--because nothing kicks ass like medieval crimefighting nuns!--with equal failure. I really, really don't want to resort to the internet, but dammit, I need my crimefighting nun fix! And I'm less likely to run across Fidelma books in stores. YA and kid lit recycles frequently due to kids outgrowing series (or at any rate their parents thinking they do), but I can't imagine releasing a Fidelma book back into the wild...they're too good to let go! *Apparently "K.A. Applegate" is a pseudonym for a husband-and-wife team. Current Mood: annoyed (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, September 7th, 2009
5:27 pm	I love the SCA. We went to Havoc, and I petted chickens (CHICKENS!)* and transferred gold to paper, and Shade petted Icelandic ponies (PONIES!) and threw axes, and we both made buttons (but Shade lost his, woe), and in general had an AWESOME time and we are both totally going back again next year, for sures. And I am DETERMINED to get into lure coursing. Turns out I don't need a dog to be active; I can just make equipment and organize events. All of the sighthound fun with none of the responsibility of dog ownership! And it would be quite a feather in Dun Traigh's cap to have lure coursing at canton events...most of the SCA coursing is done further south. *Not just any chickens, endangered chickens. Apparently both Dorking and White-Faced Black Spanish chickens are on the critical list of chicken breeds. The Orpington that I petted, though, is absurdly popular and not at risk at all. And technically we both petted ponies and chickens, but I cared more about the chickens and Shade cared more about the ponies (although the ponies were cute). The important thing here is that those chickens were the FIRST BIRDS EVER that he petted which did not bite him, and thus constituted his first positive experience with a bird. I'm so pleased. Current Mood: happy (Comment on this)
Saturday, September 5th, 2009
1:41 am	Yay SCA stuffs! Also, I heart Leverage. Tomorrow Shade and I will be camping at Havoc at Hasting, an SCA event. Judging from the previous camping event, it will be AWESOME. This time I'm bringing my calligraphy stuff, to see if I can pointers from more experienced scribes. Also, we are both horribly addicted to Leverage. Shade got recced the show by Netflix ("If you like Bones, then we recommend..."), watched a few episodes, insisted I do the same, and now we can't inhale them fast enough. Thank God it has been renewed for a third season, and the ratings seem healthy enough to keep it afloat for some time, plus it's not absurdly expensive to produce. Universe, you have screwed me over on so many shows I love (need I run through the litany again?). You had better not blow this. (Also I am kind of in love with Parker. She's like if Luna Lovegood turned to a life of crime!) Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
Friday, September 4th, 2009
12:53 am	Happy birthday to me? So, my birthday ended fifty-three minutes ago. As birthdays go it wasn't the worst...I didn't have a party (and barely saw my twin sister), but Mom got me a cream puff, and I went to a party later this evening. Granted, it was a going-away party for one of the community theater people who's moving to China, but hey, a party's a party. I enjoyed myself very much and befriended an awesome little ten-year-old who, as I told her mother, I would be happy to baby-sit whenever she liked. Current Mood: mellow (5 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 31st, 2009
11:00 pm	So in the time I've been absent from the interwebs... 1. We pet-sat a Shih Tzu/Yorkie mix belonging to one of Shade's co-workers (Myley went home on Sunday). V. sweet dog, albeit a bit on the hyper/destructive side (seven-month-old puppy, after all). 2. On the same day Myley was returned, Shade got clocked in the face by a 90 lb Husky and got a concussion. Yes, an actual diagnosed concussion. Mild, but still there. (What is it with my family and head injuries?) He also appears to have the beginnings of a lovely black eye. He was prescribed some heavy-duty pain meds and needed to be woken up every two hours last night, just to make sure that he didn't lapse into a coma from some unforseen trauma. He also was forbidden to drive for a day and to work for two days. It's actually been pretty funny, because concussion!Shade is almost identical, behaviourally, to mildlydrunk!Shade, minus the balance issues. His pain is my hilarious entertainment. :D Current Mood: amused (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 26th, 2009
1:39 am	I have no life. I just spent way, way too much time googling information on my dinnerware. (It's Oneida Spring Daisy, if you must know.) All I know about it is that it's over ten years old, because I bought it on extreme clearance at the local D&W right before it shut down. Why I got the urge to learn more about it at one in the morning, I have no idea, but it CONSUMED MY BRAIN. (Oh, and Shade, I googled your dinnerware, too: Tienshan Madrid. I'm sure you'll sleep easier with this critical piece of intelligence.) Current Mood: tired (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 25th, 2009
11:02 pm	You know how I said all of Grampa's tests came back clean? Yeah. Turns out he broke a rib. It's not a bad break--just a bit cracked across, not snapped in two--but it's still a broken bone, which means Mom, Gramma and I had plenty of "I told you so"s when he went into work for 4 1/2 hours last week (I drove him, he insisted he felt fine, which was probably true given all the Vicodin in his system at the time) and came back in so much pain that he wouldn't respond to direct questions until Mom threatened to send him back to the ER. Since then Mom and I have been switching spending days and nights with them to assist with things like cooking, housework, and so forth. This has thrilled Smokey to death because that means at least one extra person in the house at all times, a person smelling of exciting new cats and dogs, to give extra tummy rubs and extra sessions of fetch and extra opportunities to run outside and chase his mortal enemy, the squirrel. This is also why I have been entirely absent from the internet: most of my time has been spent either taking care of my grandparents, or catching up on the sleep I have lost. On the bright side, I have had the opportunities to a) catch new episodes of It's Me or the Dog (Victoria! <3<3<3), which I have not seen since our cable was rescinded six months ago and b) finally see the new series of Being Human because my grandparents get BBC America. I loved the pilot so much that I've actually been reluctant to see the show when it was aired, because what with recasting two-thirds of the actors I was worried that it wouldn't be the show I fell in love with. My fears can lay to rest, because the show is awesome. Granted, I've only seen maybe two episodes, and they appear to be from later in the first series, but I liked it much more than I expected. Current Mood: drained (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Thursday, August 20th, 2009
12:42 am	At least one of the ER guys was really cute? Had a bit of a scare yesterday...Grampa fell backwards down a flight of stairs at his house and cracked open his head pretty bad, along with bruising some ribs and a hip. He was lucid (although he didn't remember the fall itself, having blacked out for that part) and oriented to time and place, but he was so dizzy that he couldn't get up from a sitting position, plus he kept wanting to fall asleep, so Mom had an ambulance take him to the ER anyway for a CAT scan and some other tests, to make sure he didn't have a concussion. I stayed with Gramma until they both returned from the hospital at about two in the morning. The last of the tests came back clean today, but he needs temporary use of a walker because of all the bruising (his blood thinners turn even minor injuries into potential dangers), so Mom, Sally and I have been switching shifts so that someone is with both Gramma (who you'll remember has her own health issues and limited mobility) and Grampa at all times. Current Mood: relieved (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 17th, 2009
10:27 pm	All is for the the best in this best of all possible worlds. I may have misquoted Voltaire. Forgive me, for I am now remedicated! Called my doctor today and asked her to contact my insurance company to straighten out the whole Seroquel mess. While she wasn't able to refill my prescription, I did talk to someone who said they'd look into getting me some free samples to tide me over. I said sure, figuring I could work on the whole mess tomorrow and at least be medicated overnight. I went to the clinic, and a nurse handed me a lunch bag full of sample jars, four pills per jar, enough to get me through the rest of the month, absolutely free. I was gobsmacked. Granted, it's 150 mg of Seroquel XR, not my usual 200, but I had been thinking that maybe my current dose was a bit high anyway. I took my first dose about a half-hour ago and am still waiting for the overwhelming urge to sleep. Current Mood: cheerful (Comment on this)
3:45 am	Okay, now I feel better. Found a site called Nostalgic Win, and have spent the past *checks time* five hours of my life reliving my childhood. Even though I didn't personally own a lot of the nifty toys pictured, I was a latchkey kid and had access to them (Sit-n-Spins RULED, I would routinely spin myself sick). Plus I remember when EVERYONE had Skip-Its and slap bracelets and Rollerblades, like overnight it seemed ALL my classmates brought those things to recess. And the metal playground equipment that could burn you, cut you, or knock you unconscious (I got run over by kids on the merry-go-round). Good times, man. Then I watched Rikki-Tikki-Tavi for the first time since I was maybe ten or so. I loved that animated short, although I'd forgotten how completely freaky the humans' eyes were (NO PUPILS OH MY GOD). Then I rewatched the commercials and theme songs (I still have 3-2-1 Contact memorized! And the Reading Rainbow theme!), and was immensely comforted by the fact that, no matter what happens in my life, Mr. Rogers thinks I'm awesome. And if that isn't a solid character reference, I don't know what is. Current Mood: 'cause Mr. Rogers never lies. (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Saturday, August 15th, 2009
10:28 pm	I can't find where I threw my keys in rage. So lately I've been getting my Seroquel in weekly doses of about $30, because my insurance stopped covering the vast majority of it for no apparent reason (they claimed it was an error that it was so low in the first place--whatever), so my $5 monthly dream prescription got increased to $113. Which, okay, that's not great, but it's still manageable. Today, when I went to pick it up at Walgreens, the pharmacist told me, OUT OF THE FUCKING BLUE, "Oh, your insurance no longer covers your prescription. That'll be ninetysomething, please." Ninety dollars. For fourteen goddamn pills (which rounds to, oh, $370 a month. That's more that my half of the rent). Even assuming I would have been willing to cover it (oh hell no), I didn't even have that much cash on me. I admit that I panicked, burst into tears at the counter, and said words to the effect of I NEED THESE MEDS, THEY MAKE ME NOT SUICIDAL. Because, let's face it, my particular flavour of bipolar disorder mainly manifests almost entirely as mixed episodes, the state in which patients are most likely to attempt suicide.* The only response was, sorry, call your doctor on Monday so they can work with your insurance provider...have a nice day! (Okay, I lie. She never wished me a nice day.) I have two days, hopefully longer, before I gradually backslide into The Other Freya, the Freya who screams and throws objects at her sister and threatens to staple through her hand and can't walk into the grocery store without hyperventilating from anxiety. If my insurance refuses to cover these meds again, I need to find another medication that works, a cheaper med, because after six months of relative normality, I cannot stand living like that again. *No actual attempts, but I have spent many hours contemplating various methods. Did you know that most dry cleaning chemicals are invariably fatal if ingested? Yeah. In my darkest hours, that was always a comforting thought. Which is why I need my goddamn meds. Current Mood: ANGRY, IN CAPSLOCK. (10 Comments |Comment on this)